Average score:
?.??/10

New Beginnings

This is the month that I start living away from my parents. This is also the month that I start releasing games that anyone other than me will care about. These events are not enough to define the month. Events are meaningless without a good kind of energy backing them up. Each morning, I will have a character randomly chosen. Whatever it is that I need to do that day, I will find a way to do it as whichever character turned up. Every character needs to be strengthened. Every character needs to confront the problems they can't deal with, because otherwise how will we learn what they can deal with? This will take a lot of energy, so the temptation to burn out and give in to passivity will be great. I will resist that temptation. I will not watch any TV unless it's together with Yardena or someone else. Then there are limits to how long I can spend. I will not let the ambition of this month drive me to self-destruction.

Score:
First activity:	Casually playing a round of Advanced Freecell	0:19
This is my home now, but it doesn't feel like my home. I'll change that. Clean up the mess, customize the layout of the room, fix the problems, and it'll feel like it's mine in no time.
Time allocation:	Trying to get my computer connected to the network	3:46
	Mundane activities	3:21
	Trying to connect my videogames to the TV	1:37
	Reading the comic book adaptation "Sandman: The Dream Hunters", which was on the shelf	1:17
	The blog	1:07
	Setting up my room the way I like	1:03
	Letting Yardena vent	0:49
	Going out on errands	0:43
	Venting to Harel	0:13
Notes:	I was able to connect my computer to the internet, but with such a poor wireless connection that I am unable to upload the new blog posts. I set up my game systems, but they'll only display in black and white on this TV. I talk to Yardena a lot and try to be a good friend as well as I can, but she's always getting frustrated and angry by me.
This is home. Very little is quite the way it ought to be, but it's mine and I love it. Now, switching from Windows to Linux - that was a struggle. This is just a change in physical location.
Performance review:	I am relieved, given the frustrations during the day, that it was ended so gracefully.

Score:
First activity (Wed.):	Taking in the Jerusalem atmosphere	0:49
First activity (Thu.):	Timing the walk to the other side of Emek Refa'im	0:14
This is a turning point in my life. For the first time in my life, I'm away from family. (Though, my parents are still giving me support in everything but money.) I'm now living in Jerusalem, which has always felt more like home to me than Beit Shemesh. I went to high school here, I went to movies and museums here, I was in plays here, I've wandered around aimlessly here. And now, I don't need to go back to Beit Shemesh at the end of the day. (My god, these streets are narrow. It'll take forever to get to work.) Even more importantly, Gamer Mom is complete and I'm almost ready to share it with the world. This is where my long quest as a gamist truly begins, because for the first time I've made a game which isn't entirely for building up my skills. (Though, there has been a lot of that.)
Time allocation:	Mundane activities	3:37
	Comics	3:10
	Finishing Braid	2:42
	The Importance of Being Earnest	2:30
	The blog	1:54
	Watching TV with Yardena	1:52
	Talking with Yardena	1:40
	A new musical theme	0:44
	Thinking about an idea for a game called "Time Warp"	0:16
	Trying (and failing) to connect my computer to the internet better	0:12
Never do something just because it needs to be done. Do things because you've found a way to want to do things.
Performance review:	Yeah, I know. It's a lousy closing statement, because once again the inspiration came from the lack of focus and I am sick to death of that.

Score:
First activity (Fri.):	Trying to get color on the TV (I couldn't.)	0:51
First activity (Sat.):	Checking whether one of my family's computers has a wireless card (It doesn't.)	0:05
Fire Emblem, Mario & Luigi 3, maybe Chibi Robo.
Time allocation:	Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story	4:27
	Mundane activities	2:21
	Chibi-Robo!	1:45
	Piano	0:56
	Uploading the blog	0:50
The third Mario & Luigi is so much better than the second. It has as much padding as its predecessors, but like Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga -and unlike the first sequel, Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time- it is hilarious, which makes me a lot more forgiving.
Performance review:	It makes sense to spend more time on the DS if the TV isn't working right.

Score:
Notes:	I'm going to count this as one day even though it really wasn't, because I can't be bothered to write out all the annoying little details. End your own days, people! There was a lot done: fixing up Gamer Mom, starting on the site that will hold it, lots of singing, following P.A.W.'s advice and getting the Wii to work (sort of), reading comics... but the biggest activity, by far, was hanging out with Yardena.
Performance review:	Let's please try to follow protocol.

Score:
First activity (Thu.):	Uploading a comment that was made on the blog	0:50
First activity (Fri.):	Calling Yardena with a thought that occurred to me	0:04
People are counting on me, and I can't let them down.
Time allocation:	Hanging out with Yardena	5:45
	Mundane activities	3:57
	The blog	3:22
	Trying (and once again failing) to set up the network card, this time with Moshe's help	2:31
	Work-related e-mails	0:43
Notes:	Yardena and I watched the unimpressive finale of The Voice, we talked for several hours, and I got her to play both New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Chibi-Robo!. This prevented me from finishing the blog post until Friday morning, though I had promised on Google+ on Thursday morning to publish it that same day. (No regrets, though.)
Yardena needs a way to escape that isn't entirely passive. I'm going to try to find that for her. I'm not sure that these are necessarily the right games, but they are certainly interesting. For a person who'd never picked up a controller before, her first steps as a gamer were pretty darn good.
Performance review:	No opportunities missed. Nice to see a day run so well.

Score:
First activity (Fri.):	Copying work files from my computer	0:02
First activity (Sat.):	Copying work files to my family's computer	0:02
First activity (Sun.):	Buying milk	0:05
I'm going to eat lunch, wash dishes, get ready to leave and leave at 15:10. I'll stop off at Marzipan to buy rugelach like my mother told me, meaning I'll need to wait for another bus, so I figure I'll only get to Beit Shemesh around 16:50. I'll go over the lines from the play until Shabbat. After Shabbat I'll work on the site for Gamer Mom until 21:30, then catch a bus back to Jerusalem. 23:00 - Gamer Mom 1:00 - Comics 2:00 - bed 10:30 - Wake up 11:10 - get bank account Whenever that's over, come home and score. I'm not good enough, but today is going to be perfect.
Time allocation:	Mundane activities	8:23
	The Importance of Being Earnest	1:55
	Working on the Gamer Mom site	1:06
	Shopping	0:51
	Watching TV with Yardena	0:36
I am now off-book for Acts 1 and 2 of The Importance of Being Earnest, and half of Act 3. The Gamer Mom page is coming along nicely. I was so drained when I came home from my parents' house that I just wanted to watch TV and go to sleep. In the morning I went to the bank to open an account, but it turns out they're closed on Sundays.
Performance review:	It might be worth considering to not go to Beit Shemesh on Shabbats, if this is the effect.

Score:
First activity:	Coming up with the rules for the day	0:11
The Worker had his shot to get things done, and he failed. Now let the Gamer take his turn. The rules for the day are as follows: I will alternate between Wii Sports Resort and worker-stuff. Starting at 15:10, I will spend twenty minutes on Wii Sports Resort. I will then take two minutes to decide what I am doing next, and 28 minutes on whatever that is. As soon as those 28 minutes are up, I will go back to the Wii to relax for twenty minutes. Repeat. Let's show the Worker how it's done!
Time allocation:	Work-stuff	6:32
	Mundane activities	5:31
	The Importance of Being Earnest	3:28
	Wii Sports Resort	3:09
	Watching TV with Yardena	2:26
	Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels 8-4	0:11
Notes:	The day was paused to go see The Avengers with my friends. The day's rules were followed for the first few hours, then disregarded. Much time was wasted.
Man, am I tired. Reality sucks. Next time I'm asked to deal with it, I'll quit after a few hours. The first few hours were fun.
Performance review:	You set out to show that you could deal with reality as well as the Worker. You did show that, by getting a lot of things done that he failed to in his day. But I don't feel your character emerged unscathed from the exercise. The gaminess of it was lost somewhere along the line, and I can only accept progress made in the real world from you when it is tied to impractical systems (due to a technicality in your rules, involving the word "practical").

Score:
Notes:	This was a wasted day, with no character and no notes taken. I browsed the web, went to a short rehearsal, shopped around for a Linux-compatible wireless card (I could not find one.), struggled and failed once again to get the wireless card I bought to work, played Mario & Luigi, talked with Yardena, and went to sleep.

Score:
First activity:	Doing laundry	0:05
The first thing I'll need to do is write up the performance reviews for the past few days. 12:45 - memorize act 3 of the play 14:45 - lunch, then hang up the laundry 15:15 - the index page for Gamer Mom 17:15 - copy I Am Not Myself Today to new site 18:15 - supper 18:45 - go to rehearsal 22:00 - Come back with Yardena, watch TV if she wants to 0:00 - make sure Gamer Mom's buttons work with strange system fonts 2:00 - score. I'm not good enough, but today is going to be perfect.
Time allocation:	The Importance of Being Earnest	5:05
	Mundane activities	4:44
	Preparing the Gamer Mom site	2:41
	Hanging out with Yardena	2:17
	Gamer Mom	1:12
I memorized act 3 of the play, then learned all my staging for act 3 in the rehearsal. The Gamer Mom site is ready except for the donations page and the "about us" section. I fixed a slight problem in Gamer Mom, and improved the layout for large fonts.
Notes:	This character was not picked randomly.
Performance review:	Well, I guess it's only fair that if the Gamer is trying to supplant you, you should be able to make a counter-argument. Nice job.

Score:
Gamer Mom will be on the internet today.
Time allocation:	Mundane activities	5:39
	Trying to get the game on the internet	4:10
	Trying to fix the tiny glitch in Webkit involving fullscreen	1:56
	Playing Adam Cadre's text adventures	1:39
	Planning out an interactive blog post	0:28
	Playing Gamer Mom	0:27
Bleargh. It wasn't possible. I ran around from bank to bank and site to site, and it just wasn't possible. I hate my life.
Performance review:	The day should have been ended much sooner (at exactly the time you gave up) and passed to someone else. Up to that point, you were doing really well.

Score:
Notes:	This was supposed to be the Programmer's day, but it seems unfair to classify it as such. There wasn't any opportunity for the Programmer to be himself, because it took a long time to get to Beit Shemesh for Shabbat and once I was there there was neither a computer to use nor a game system to play rule system games on. (The Gamecube is apparently incapable of reading any discs now.) In any event, I would not have been able to meet the challenge of the day. I was going to write an interactive blog post about life being in a holding pattern, but I don't feel that way anymore. You see, after Shabbat, Harel drove me to Jerusalem -but first, we picked up a TV that David from game night had been kind enough to offer me. While Harel was here, he looked at my computer and found out that the problem with the network connection will be fixed by a simple upgrade to the newest version of Kubuntu. He did not have time to do that, but he gave me simple instructions on how to do it myself.

Score:
First activity (Mon.):	Calling Moshe	0:36
First activity (Tue.):	Checking e-mail	0:03
First activity (Wed.):	Setting up Kubuntu	1:55
A friend of mine is going through hard times, and feels like they need to "be strong" and not show it. I think that's a mistake - acting as though you're not hurt when you are just makes it so much harder to heal.
Time allocation:	Mundane activities	11:19
	Socializing with Yardena	8:28
	Reinstalling my operating system	7:25
	Reading comics downloaded off the internet	3:47
	Finishing Sly Cooper 1, starting Sly Cooper 2	3:35
	Hanging out with Lianne and Sarit after the rehearsal	2:35
	The rehearsal	2:15
	Listening to podcasts	1:46
	Reading blogs	1:03
	Talking to Moshe	0:51
	The blog	0:17
	Putting Kyler's bio on the Gamer Mom site	0:07
I don't know why Yardena puts up with me. But I'm glad she does.
Notes:	The day was split between the Person and the Programmer.
Performance review:	It's nice to see teamwork.

Score:
First activity (Wed.):	Getting my credit card, to pay for hosting	0:37
First activity (Thu.):	Checking e-mail

Time allocation:	Setting up the donation system	6:53
	Mundane activities	2:50
	Spreading the word	2:25
	Setting up the site	1:26
	The blog	1:06
	Talking to Avri	0:32
	Slight adjustments to the manifesto page	0:25
	Fixing the Webkit problem	0:04
Two years ago, I imagined an experience which could translate some real emotions I had into a very accessible game. Now Gamer Mom is out, and seeing the reaction is bittersweet. Seeing how perfectly the players' emotions capture what I was going for (despite the game's flaws) makes me very proud. But those emotions are entirely negative, and I'm not at that place in my life anymore. People keep asking me why the game is so frustrating to plya, and today I don't feel a personal connection to that frustration as strongly. This should have been finished six months ago.
Performance review:	The strongest Addict in months.

Score:
Notes:	This day (with the holiday of Shavuot breaking it up) was not played by the rules.

Score:
First activity:	Thinking about my personality	0:31
Now that Gamer Mom is out, I've gotten a lot of responses. I expected a lot of negative responses to the game. What I did not expect was very negative responses to me, on a personal level.
Time allocation:	Mundane activities	4:02
	The Importance of Being Earnest	3:03
	Hanging out with Yardena	2:47
	Chatting with people over instant messenger	1:52
	Doing dishes, to spare Yardena the chore	1:20
	Reading	1:14
I don't need or expect to be loved. I will aim for "acknowledged", because as long as my creations are not rejected out of hand, there is hope that the changes I'm pushing for will catch on. Techniques get copied regardless of what is thought of the content. For my own worldview, I have nothing to worry about but the quality of my ongoing performance -which has suffered lately because the Gamer Mom Addict was so intense that it threw me off. (The conference room needs to be reinstituted, pronto.) I do not believe that I am a bad person. I want to connect with people (in ways that make sense to me), and I am willing to listen to others (though not necessarily to agree with them). Otherwise, I am harmless; and I must never again intitiate a dating process so that the worst aspects of my nature do not come out. (I want everyone to be like me, which is a harmless thought as long as I don't get too close to anyone.)
Performance review:	Not especially cohesive, but a little bit new in concept.

Score:
First activity:	Chatting	0:02
I am so exhausted; since reinstalling my operating system, I don't have all the restrictions in place on what I can do when, and as a result when I am tired and out of self-control, I just keep browsing the web mindlessly instead of going to sleep. I will have to press on, though, because there are some newcomers to the blog waiting for a story.
Time allocation:	Mundane activities	7:46
	Talking with Yardena	2:12
	Looking for ways to work online	1:37
	The blog	1:24
	Helping put Gamer Mom on jayisgames.com	0:54
	Talking with Harel	0:43
	Forcing the Gamer Mom images to cache, so as to save Kyler and me some bandwidth costs	0:31
	Buying bags	0:28
I remembered someone who used to come here, and who enjoyed my earlier games. I sent him a link to Gamer Mom, and he said he's really busy right now but he'll get around to it eventually. It's nice to reconnect with people.
Performance review:	Adequate, but some rest was in order.

Score:
Notes:	I didn't take notes because who cares? It's the end of the month already, the score's crappy regardless, and I don't have time for this nonsense. Truth be told I wasn't particularly enthused about another day, especially right after I'd botched the last one, and maybe the Thinker should have thought of that but he didn't so I made the most of the day. I wrote a blog post, edited superhero comics, obsessed about reactions to Gamer Mom, messed up at a rehearsal... maybe "made the most of" is a strong term. Eh, who cares. Let someone else clean up the mess.